Earlier this evening, I joined thousands of others for a peaceful march and protest through Franklin Park. My wife and I walked down from our apartment through the park to meet the marchers that had just begun down Circuit St. As we reached the destination for the rally, we came together in the fields by Shattuck Hospital. Dozens of police stood in the background on the steps of Shattuck watching, already in riot gear. My wife and I walked around the field to find a spot to hear better, as the two helicopters circled loudly above us. Several speakers shared their stories, their prayers, chants, spoken word, their anger, fear and hopes. They spoke of issues nationwide, and then brought the focus to Boston. Those with the organizations collaborating for this event (Black Lives Matter Boston and Violence in Boston) carried large photographs of the black men killed by police, and black men killed by police in Boston specifically. We shared a long moment of silence for them all, and moved on our way. The organizers encouraged all to exit the park before dark and to not engage in violence.
The protesters joined back to exit onto Circuit St. We all marched back together, some stepping off in either direction to head home, picked up our signs and began chanting again, moving as one, back to where the group had started. Suddenly, we heard sirens and and shouting and the crowd parted as quickly as the packed street with parallel parked cars on either side would allow. Within inches of the last person to jump out of the street, a dozen or more police on motorcycles flew down the street, into and through the crowd of entirely peaceful protestors just trying to head home. There had been no violence, no vandalism, no fires, no fights, just people coming together from three Boston neighborhoods for a common cause. WHY!? It was not an emergency, or they would have gone the other way around the park. Was it a power play? The protestors had peacefully met, sat, marched, shared, prayed, and departed… and a bunch of white men on motorcycles with guns on their hips thought it’d be appropriate to fly through a packed, crowded street at a peaceful and sanctioned event full of people including children… to share that they are still in charge? To show that, though we can protest their violence, they can still cut through us like a knife with the speed of a motor vehicle? We call people who drive vans through crowded sidewalks terrorists… so what do you call a group of motorcyclists roaring through a crowded street of peaceful permitted protestors?
-my response to the Franklin Park (Boston) Black Lives Matter Protest Tuesday, June 2, 2020
Sometimes while traveling, one can experience a simple delight that can transform the experience.
While we had a delightful and problem-free time in Vienna as traveling wives, we took a longer bike ride to the outskirts of the city. This, in my experience, means ‘tone down the gay and be chill.’ 1
We are about to cut over from the bike lane to the off-road path along the river, when we noticed a cafe called Prindl Cafe. We immediately gravitate towards it, as “Prindle Pond” was the name of the venue of our wedding the previous week. (Prindle Pond is a camp in central Massachusetts).
Of course, we go inside. My mind is full of toning down the gay and chilling, but my wife, bubbling and outgoing and desiring to befriend everyone, goes right up to the bartender and tries to explain how we got married at a camp with the same name as his cafe.
He grows quiet and has a stern expression; he does not smile at the coincidence of the name and does not congratulate us. I grab the elbow of my wife’s sleeve and prepare to take a step backwards.
As fate would have it, the man has no issue with gay marriage, but does not speak English. We try to explain in horribly broken German (though – I am still uneasy), but fortunately his English-speaking daughter comes to our rescue and translates.
Immediately, his face brightens. He claps his hands together. He runs to the pastry display and grabs us two croissants, two chocolate croissants, and a delicious apple something (which provided us a wonderful pre-airport snack the next day). He does not stop beaming the entire time we drink our beers. We stayed too long that we did not make it to the island before dark, but it was all so worth it. We had not felt uncomfortable in Vienna, but this was the peak of comfort, acceptance, and even joy from someone met on our travels.
Though this was a delightful interaction and a lovely cafe/pub, I am sad to share that I was nervous about someone’s reaction toward my relationship and my marriage. This is something I have dealt with the most in my own cities and American travel (that is, more than in Europe), but how disappointing that I almost turned away from sharing my story with a kind and gentle-hearted man, who did not flinch, double-take or have any reaction other than absolute delight at our story, just because I did not know how he might react.
_________________________
I lived in Columbus, OH for three years. It was a very open city, I was in a very accepting and progressive graduate program. I came out while living in Columbus. But half a step outside the I-270 loop, the gay-hating Christians appeared in full shaming force. (Note: the emphasis is on the geographical area, and I will point out that the Christian communities inside the city were, in my experience, kind and open and loving towards the Columbus LGBT community... in fact, issues inside the city stemmed primarily from yo-pro-bros asking to see us make out… but that’s another novel).
Traveling can be a difficult passion for those who have a demanding and/or low-paying job (speaking from my own experience working in the nonprofit/education field). It was important for my wife and me to travel for our honeymoon, something we had not done yet together due to post-graduate schooling, long-distance, and a wealth of other factors circling around finances and, well, being gay.
Our first “vacation” together was after four years, a gift to ourselves when my wife completed her PhD, purchased on significant discount from Groupon. Well, the resort was mediocre at best, but we enjoyed the beach and the sunshine, that is, until we suffered drastically from food poisoning on the third day.
But I digress. This complex budget is where I started…
I like planning, though our actual activities varied significantly from our plans! In fact, we spent about $500 LESS than this initial budget.
It might be surprising, but this was step one. I included everything we were interested in doing, so it could be a part of our wedding budget, and scaled back from there. I researched day trips that were reasonable, I calculated from the local currency to the dollar, I even looked up average cost of meals so I could determine how many days we could “eat fancy.” To decide where to go, we researched countries of interest and looked at the cost to fly there and average cost of accommodations. Central Europe was our focus, and flying in to Prague and out of Vienna was the most reasonable, and, according to our research, among the most gay-friendly.
Note: In Prague, we didn’t see many lesbian couples, but we always felt safe and not out-of-place, especially in the Vinohrady area. Only once did someone do a double-take at us, but it was at the Charles Bridge and it was a man in a University of Alabama hoodie. In Vienna, gay and lesbian folks were everywhere! I’ll go more in depth in other posts, but definitely a space we felt not only safe, but… a part of the norm. More so than in Boston!
My tips:
Stay in an Airbnb – take note that some have cancellation policies and some don’t.
Use public transit/ City bikes
Stay away from touristy areas for meals
Travel off-season
Many tourist destinations have free or discounted days or times (for example Prague Castle)
Following a painfully long layover (saves money!), we landed in Prague on Monday afternoon. One thing we agreed to splurge on – taxi service from the airport. Our Uber was not much, and saved us time and headache trying to get from the airport. Typically I’d swear by public transit, and I’d recommend this video to see how.
We arrived in time to check in to our airbnb. In searching for our airbnb, we were pretty flexible on the location because we knew we planned to visit a different part of the city each day. We researched primarily safety and cost, and actually, lucked out with a large studio apartment in the Old City, where we were close to a few major tram lines and could walk to the city center.
Besides the airbnb, our biggest money-saver was THE WEATHER. This may seem unfair, because obviously there is nothing one can do to plan around weather until it’s happening. As you can see on my ridiculous budget spreadsheet, we planned for many museums and attractions. In Prague, there is so much to do outdoors that is free. Our favorite was the Vyšehrad (Prague’s “other castle”). We toured some caverns for a couple bucks each but the grounds and rest of the castle was free. There are a couple restaurants where we enjoyed a cheap beer outdoors. We spent the entire afternoon wandering around, and spent maybe $5 (yes, that includes the beers).
The second biggest money-saver was… WE LOVED PRAGUE AND VIENNA. Seriously. There are dozens of awesome day trips in a 90 minute radius, and we planned to do 1 or 2, but there was so much to do in Prague and we loved every day so much, we had no desire to leave the city. If we go back, I have this list to refer to, but 5.5 days in Prague was not even enough. Once we leave the city-center, there are multiple other neighborhoods each with a distinguished and unique character. And I would recommend the same. Don’t spend all your money trying to cram the entire country into a few days, and spending that much more time on trains and buses. Guided day trips are expensive. Pick a spot and stick to it, well enough to get to know it. The most money we spent in Vienna was the day it rained (we went to museums) but avoiding the day trips was actually our best financial decision.
There are always free guided tours. One company I have used often is Sandeman’s New Europe tours, but other companies do guided tours for free as well. Yes it’s “free,” but please please please, always tip your tour guide.
In Vienna, we stayed in Wieden, which according to our research was not the most gay-friendly area, but we found it to be very inclusive. It was a quiet but hip neighborhood with lots of young folks, and major bike lines into the center of the city. The cost of our meals and airbnb was definitely much more than Prague, but still significantly less than Boston and other major US cities. The most money we spent on dining was US$75, including tip, tax, two entrées and three alcoholic beverages each. This was our one big “fancy” meal, I mean, we were not trying to be frugal, and we left tipsy, full, and happy on one of the best meals of our life. (In Boston, $75 would get you two beers and two burgers.)
The same meal in a touristy area of Vienna, however, could have been double that. So, my recommendation in that respect is to avoid dining in the city center. Grab a beer and snack if you’d like, but save the dinners for other neighborhoods – you’ll get a more authentic experience that way, anyway!
As most vendors prefer cash payment, we typically used cash during our stay. The ATMs of banks do not charge ATM withdrawal fees – so keep that in mind, as that is a cost that can add up quickly! Be sure to take note of your own bank, too, if it has international fees.
I wrote above that we spent much less than we budgeted. Again, this is primarily due to our outdoor activities in place of admission to museums and other major attractions. Flights were $680 each (round trip); airbnb was $85/night in Vienna and $75/night in Prague (that includes ALL costs: base cost, cleaning fee, Airbnb service fee, and tax); meals, attractions, Ubers, beers, wine, public transit, EVERYTHING ELSE totaled $900. That’s $33 per person per day in Prague. It’s $52 per person per day in Vienna.
I read an article recently that talked about the battle between motorists and cyclists. How it’s a competition. How we treat each other so poor on the road, and act as we wouldn’t in a (as I believe the example was) in a grocery store.
Sure, I have seen cyclists flick off motorists, yell at motorists… but can you blame them? If a cyclist makes a mistake, the cyclist could die. If the motorist makes a mistake, still, the cyclist could die. So when a motorist nearly kills someone, I think that getting yelled at is not that awful of a consequence.
Of course I’m biased, because as a cyclist…. It’s shocking the times I’ve been yelled “fuck you, bitch!” or some combination of those words, just because I point at the cyclist/pedestrian green light to show motorists I do indeed have the right of way, or because I yell, “watch out!” when I’m almost hit by a motorist who is clearly reading their phone.
Ghost Bike for Paula Sharaga
Last week, a cyclist was killed in Boston by a cement truck in a neighborhood of Boston unsafe to cyclists, unsafe but entirely necessary for cyclists to get to and from work. I feel that in a city such as Boston, every neighborhood should be safer for cyclists; however, when enough cyclists already use a particular route to commute, the city must respond by making it safe for those thousands of individuals. (For example, the site of the crash services Fenway, Longwood Medical, and other high-traffic areas where cyclists relay on their bike as primary source of transportation).
I walked in to the theatre expecting just a Hamilton parody, but it was so much more. Poking fun at Lin Manuel Miranda, sure, but mostly challenging Broadway in its lack of originality the past few years. (I mean, Mean Girls is a classic for my generation and one of the most-quoted movies ever… but a Broadway musical, REALLY?!)
Disney suffered a few kicks in the shins, too, with Disney-originated shows taking over Broadway. What once was only Lion King and Beauty and the Beast, Disney now practically owns Broadway (note: hyperbole), and we should all be watching out for a super-problematic Pocahontas coming around the river bend, or an uncomfortable Aristocats that, when watched again as an adult, is so cringable a person (read: me) cannot even finish it.
Though Spamilton poked fun at a few specific shows, the writer really emphasized Broadway’s change. The past few years have been when all Tony awards are given to just two different productions, because… they are really that great? Or because there just isn’t the depth of competition? Continue reading “Spamilton”→
…Get used to hearing them, even when it’s your own wedding!
Our biggest woes of wedding planning revolved entirely around others frowning upon our decisions.
When you plan a wedding – be prepared, be calm.
It was so easy to get angry! How much energy I wasted on anger, when I just needed to step back and take a few breaths.
Part 1: The Wedding Party
Through our lives together, dating from grad school through our upper-20s, we went to about six weddings a year. We spent thousands of dollars each year on travel, and many times invested money into the bottomless pit of … being in the wedding party.
Lez Travel 